Dear Nae,

After years of self doubt and overthinking this, I owe you my deepest apologies for the way I’ve treated you during our twenty something years on this floating rock. I have consistently taken you for granted and not treated you with the unconditional love you deserve.

I’m sorry for not trusting and listening to you when you needed an ear. I am sorry for forgetting to prioritize you and your needs, during the times you needed yourself the most; you decided to put those needs you needed towards everyone else over the last few years. Much like everyone else you need time, attention and care just like the rest of the world. I have deprived you of that and now I’m learning to concentrate on your needs and set boundaries.

I am sorry for all those times I have whispered into your ears and told you how incapable and worthless you are. that you aren’t enough and never will be. Anxiety and depression has finally taken a toll on you after years and you have noticed, because of that for the longest time I have dressed you in words of resentment and disgust. Now, especially on better days I have adorn you in the words of finest thoughts.

I’m sorry for nearly giving up on you, for trying to convince you life wasn’t worth it. I’m sorry for convincing you that life wasn’t worth the seeing of tomorrow. life is so much more than you think it is. It’s time to start seeing the world in your own eyes. it’s time to love yours. you are worth of unconditional love, support, laughs, meaningful convos, bursting friendships & so much more. Sorry it took this long to ask for forgiveness.

I love you endlessly and I am heartbroken over the way I’ve treated you and how I continue to treat you. You continue to flourish and and expand while trying figure things out despite of hardships. Thank you for being so patient with me over the years. I promise to do better.

Love,

Lanae